http://www.playlist.com/playlist/16483127819

-I look at myself and i know i'm a strange creature to behold.i am ...realy.

-i'm a seventeen year old black female who likes to wear afros,dark colored make up and clothes,draw cartoons,read anime and manga,i listen to all kinds of music,heavy metal,alternative,old school hiphop,ect.i like to write realy morbid poetry to calm my nerves,i don't like dogs but i like bunnies and cats,my fave color is purple.also ,i do not type the way i talk,i use wording more to my preference in my writing,than in my speech.i also got this thing

-you see,to be a mixed up -lovable -cynical-beautiful-abomination like me ,you have to be overflowing with confidence.i am 80% of the time.then i turn into angst like everyone else does.so yeah, i'm human.(i also got this thing where i HATE muilti-tasking.it just ain't my thing.)

-i am at a point in my life that i can just tolerate things.i do have one thing under my sleeve though;i'm writing a novel at this point.i'm on chapter 5 YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay...had to get that out of my system.anyway,my story is amazing,and i'm not saying this becouse its mine.no,its just nice like that.i plan on stealing all the fans who ever thought about twilight or harry potter.and i'll be sucessfull too.its sad that my own family doesn't encourage my much.its like when i watched both of those movies,i thought 'I CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!'.but people don't believe me.as i'm writing my novel i am trying to think of marketing tactics for my book.and i'm thinking about illustrating it.i say the final pice will be done by 2011.

standing aside to watch

-again ,i find myself locked in a cage.i am doing well where i am in some departments of my life but others i have to sacrifice.i'm stuck in a cocoon and sometimes i get restless.this is one of those times.

-i'm annoyed becouse things are costing more than they need to be,so buying decent acessories,and clothes is going to be a problem.i also don't want to force my parents to pay for me to go to the prom becouse i don't like recieving privilages,especialy if i didn't ask for it,it makes me feel undeserving and trapped.Along with that i need to buy art supplies so again,there is the choice between clothes,or art stuff,or make-up and i can't decide which is more important.i want to get a job,but then its hard to find any jobs.Also ,i just know i couldnt keep up with school and work together.....now i'm all depressed again...damn

-I am glad the septa strike is over.i'm fucking pissed off becouse i couldn't gtake my SAT behind that bullshit.the city needs to buy back the public transportation system.do you now how much mney the city will earn?!!ALOT.however the paradox is that we don't even have enough money for that.yeah,thats bad isn't it?well,i know that once i'm rich and famous (i would prfer not to have the fame...) i will help people in financial need.now i just help people emotionaly.

-people need love and motivation.love can heal the deepest wounds even though the scars will still be there.i think crazy people need love.the mentaly disabled need love.so do the mentaly insane.and criminals. 

(there is a difference between crazy and insane.insane people are out of touch with reality....ex.thinking a bunny is a wild tiger.crazy people are people who just don't give a damn what happens.ex. i ride my motorcycle over a ramp knowing that i may die but just don't care)

this world is a cruel and we just need more love.i give people love,particularly those who severely need it.this only applies to those who need and want it,and are willing to admit it.

-School work is getting a bit stressful.at this point i cannot devote as much time as i want to writing my book.i now have to settle for one chapter every two weeks.i had two projects and a test this weekend,and i had to sacrifice the test for the two projects becous the projects will effect my grade much more harshly if not done.i have  alot of work to do,and i have to find a way to balance my classes.also ,i have to tell my mom not to take me on errands so much.i am actually making an effort to improve my grades, my chores and stop being semi-antisocial lately.i'm not used to doing so many things at once,but i am happier now that i just don't waste time on anything.i am actually making an attempt to be a better person.

-side note-

my favorite band A.F.I (a fire inside) released their new album,and i am dissapointed.the thing is this,the band changes its sound every album.i loved the band for its dramatic sound and poetic and dark lyrics.lyrics still nice,but the execution was bad.sounds to damn mainstream and doesn't have the dark and emotional sound they usualy have.

at this point i wonder how students find time to have sex,do drugs,party ,commit crime and get pregnant.my schedule is too tight for any of that madness,not that i want to do any of those things.i view all those things as a distraction,and even though i want to chase all the cute guys,the ones worth anything are men and won't date me becouse i'm a kid.damn.

-anyway,i am applying for colleges online.i find that to be much more convenient,than doing it by paper.my mom and i are good at losing things,so i'm glad for online applicatios,plus the fees are waved.

-i am looking forward to starting my life next year with no one in my ear.people's opinion's don't matter to me ,i only deal with facts.

eXpReSs YoUr SeLf

-At this point I have decided that I would do my senior project on self expression. Most people are doing projects on the usual;the poor the hungry,the abused ,ect.I wanted to do something that I could truly relate to,something I just knew no one else would do.

And the best part is that I live in mural city...GO PHILLY!!That makes it all the more easy and more fun.I will cover a good number of subjects with this.The murals,graffitti, poetry,fashion,and writing primarily.Music and dnace are ways of self expression,however I am not a musician,nor do I dance,so those saddly are out,becouse I won't be able to convey those elements as well as the others.

I will be taking a good number of pictures for this,so it will be realy fun!I wanted something that would convey many differrent emotions,not just the negative.Besides I already know this world is suffering,and anyone in their right mind can see that already.Any horrible ,twisted thing you can think of is probably happening as we speak,so I don't think I need to re-address the obvious.

So with this project,I am hoping to show the creativity of people,becouse being creative is severely underated.And its something that I 100% agree with,can relate to,and needs to be addressed.By addressing this I can actualy change something and not be talking,just to be talking.(No offense meant to anyone else on the planet doing a senior project)

-so every body,be happy...just not too happy!XD